Anyway. Here it is.
_______ ________ _________
“I’m ready,”
Gansey breathed. “Kiss me, Blue.”
Blue kissed him.
She swallowed his
breath and he inhaled hers, and they wrapped their arms around each other, Blue
on her tippy toes, Gansey bending down so his mouth could easily reach hers.
Adam stood watching, his chest heaving as he tried to understand what was going
to happen when his friends’ lips parted. He looked back into the car at Ronan,
at Ronan who almost wasn’t there anymore, Ronan who was being unmade. He
couldn’t just stand there and watch his friends make out while his other
friend, maybe more than friend was dying, so he slid in the passenger seat of
the car and gently put a bloody hand on his shoulder.
“Ronan.” His voice
was shaking. “Fight harder.”
The black stuff
coming out of his nostril was thick, and slowly pouring over his mouth.
“Ronan,” Adam said
again. “Fuck! Ronan!”
Blue and Gansey
separated and stared at each other, both trying not to show the fear in their
own expressions.
“Aren’t I supposed
to die?” Gansey asked.
“I don’t think the
kiss is what is supposed to kill you.”
“Well what am I
supposed to do!?” Gansey cried, taking a step back. “How else are we supposed
to save everyone?”
“Maybe there’s
another way,” Blue said softly.
“Someone has to
kill me,” Gansey said. “They have to do it now; we’re running out of time!”
“I don’t want to
live in a world where you don’t,” Blue cried.
“I don’t want to
live in a world where we’re all
dead!”
At first they
thought it was thunder. A crack so loud that it seemed to come from all
directions, down on them from the sky. A bang so loud that they all stopped to
catch their breath, not realizing that Gansey wasn’t catching his. Blue twisted
her head at him, confused at his expression that she couldn’t place. He looked
down at his chest, now pouring with red that was spilling over his hands.
“Gansey!” Blue tried
to catch him as his body crumpled to the ground, a sad exhale leaving his lips.
“Shit,” Adam said,
stepping out of the car.
Blue wasn’t
expecting to feel like this. She wasn’t expecting something to actually happen.
She thought they would somehow still have time to fix everything. Maybe Artemus
could do something, or maybe Gwenllian. She thought someone was going to come
save them, save Gansey. She didn’t see it happening so fast like this, without
a proper goodbye.
“What is that
thing!?” Henry asked, taking a step away from Mr. Gray, who was approaching
them slowly, gun in one hand, foot long hornet in the other.
“My Gray!” Blue
cried, unsure of how else to react.
“Adam,” Ronan
whispered, just loud enough for him to hear. Adam got back in the car and
inspected Ronan, completely overwhelmed at the fact that he was now suddenly a
full, made human. Ronan leaned into the passenger seat, his head softly resting
on Adam’s shoulder, and Adam’s heart pounded in his chest, in his throat, in
his head.
“I say again, what
is that?” Henry said again, out by the road.
“It’s the demon,”
Mr. Gray said. “The demon that’s now dying thanks to Gansey.”
“Thanks to you!” Blue screamed, running at him. Mr.
Gray Immediately dropped the demon, knowing it was well on its way to
shriveling up by now, and caught Blue in an embrace instead of a hold. He knew
that she knew it had to be done, and she was just letting out her frustrations.
Mr. Gray knew that she already forgave him, she just didn’t want him to think
that he did.
“Get him off the
road!” Ronan said, getting out of the car. “Move him somewhere, don’t just
leave him there!”
“Ronan,” Adam said
gently.
“We have to move
him somewhere better than the side of the road!”
“Ronan,” Adam said
again.
“What!?”
“I think if we
travel along the ley line and bring his body to Cabeswater, he might be able to
stick around like Noah.”
“That’s not the
same,” Ronan hissed.
“What if he
doesn’t want that?” Blue asked, pulling away from Mr. Gray.
“Then we’ll move
him out of there,” Adam shrugged. “But I can’t just let that be it. I can’t let
that be the end of everything. The demon’s dead, and Rona’s alive, and I’m just
sitting here wondering how I could have helped all this.”
“You did
everything you could,” Blue said.
“Don’t,” he
stopped her. “Don’t lie to me.”
“I’m not lying!”
“Hey!” Henry
shouted. “What was this about bringing Gansey back?”
Depending on how
you looked at it, the story was about The Raven Boys. The boys who seemed so
unlikable to Blue before she got to know them. The boys who turned out to be
the best friends she could ever ask for. The boys who brought her life.
His body was laid
to rest along the lay line, under the whispering trees of Cabeswater, and
everyone stood silent, breathing softly and hardly focusing on what was ahead
of them. Tears cut through their cheeks and dripped off their chins, but no one
said a word. They just waited. Silently.
Mr. Gray left
first, with nothing more than a squeeze of Blue’s shoulder and a nod at the
boys. Henry shrugged and wiped a final tear from his face, before turning and
leaving too. Blue, Ronan, and Adam were left standing side by side, afraid to
give up. Afraid to leave before the sun came up. Afraid to admit that all of
this happened. Afraid to admit that Gansey’s death was real.
“Ronan,” Adam
finally said, his voice hoarse.
“Don’t,” he
replied.
“Ronan, we have
to-”
“We don’t have to
do anything, Adam!” Ronan shot, pulling his hand from his grasp.
“I can’t just stay
here and… I can’t wait here any longer.”
“This was your
idea,” Ronan hissed. “This was your idea and you don’t even want to stick
around? For your friend? Your friend who died for all of us?”
“That’s not what I
mean.” Adam sighed and grabbed onto Ronan’s hand again. “I just don’t think
that waiting here is doing anything. He’ll find us if it works.”
“But he’ll be
alone,” Ronan whispered.
“I’ll stay.”
Everyone looked to
see that Noah had joined their circle, and none of them could place when he
showed up. He seemed of sound mind now that everything was over, and they all
just stared at him.
“I’ll stay,” Noah
said again.
Ronan nodded and
leaned into Adam, taking comfort in his familiar smell. He closed his eyes and
let himself fall deeper into him, resting his head in the corner of Adam’s
neck.
“Hey,” Adam
whispered. “It’ll be ok.”
Ronan gulped and
nodded, before bringing his face to his, and kissing him. Adam kissed him back
and neither of them cared that Noah and Blue were there to see; they just
kissed and lost themselves in each other. One last time before they found out if
this all worked or not. One last time before they knew whether or not they
would ever see Gansey again.
Blue stayed long
after Adam and Ronan left, afraid to go home. Afraid that if she left she would
fall apart. She wasn’t sure how she felt about any of this. If it worked, she
would get to see Gansey again, but they could never be together. He would be
still in his life, never changing, always the same, like Noah. Blue would grow
older and Gansey would be a perfect picture of his beautiful 18-year-old self.
No matter what
happened, everything would be different.
Mr. Gray was at
300 Fox way when she arrived home in the wee hours of the morning. He was
sitting at the kitchen table alone, his hands wrapped around a mug of coffee.
His gaze met hers when she stepped through the door, and she sighed, unable to
say anything. Instead she just shook her head slowly, and made her way upstairs
to her room.
Depending on how
you looked at it, the story was about Gansey. The entire meaning of Blue’s life
over the past year had stemmed from him. Started with him. Ended with him. It
was always Gansey, even when she didn’t want it to be. She didn’t want to fall
in love with him, and when she did, she didn’t want it to end. But it did.
Gansey ended, and Blue was still there, feeling empty.
She lay on top of
her covers and stared at the ceiling, wondering what she would do tomorrow. Would
she still hang out with everyone else? What would they do now that everything
was over? There was nothing for them to look for anymore, nothing for them
investigate, nothing for them to bond over. Nothing except each other.
Blue rolled over
in bed and her breath caught when she saw a shadow across the room. She sat up
and turned on the light, letting the shadow disappear and be replaced with a
person.
“Hi, Jane.”
Blue smiled.
She didn’t know
what they would do tomorrow, no. But they would figure it out.
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