Eating Right??

So in January of this year, I made a decision that I was going to get fit, and stay healthy. I was going to work out on a regular basis, and limit my junk food intake to special occasions only. I did super well, and actually ENJOYED eating healthy. I went over a whole month without eating ANYTHING overly fatty or sweet. I didn't eat french fries, or white pasta and bread, I didn't eat cookies or chips, I didn't eat hotdogs.
I was eating chicken, shrimp, fish, quinoa, tri-colour pasta, fruit, nuts, peppers, onions, asparagus, green beens, tomatoes, salads with spinach, greek yogurt, almond butter, hummus, and the occasional pack of thinsations. I ate REAL foods, and cooked every day. I pre-made my lunches, and it was fantastic.
After going to Cuba, I had a little difficulty getting back on the healthy bandwagon when I got back, but after a few weeks of eating (mostly) healthy, I was able to enjoy the non-junk food eating habits again. I was losing weight, and every part of my body was getting noticeably different, and I was loving it. I was lean, healthy, fit, I was feeling better than ever.
I kind of got into a work out slump, and didn't work out as often, and started to eat junk food on a more normal basis again, and I was noticing the flub start to return to my belly. I was disappointed in myself, and felt like I had let myself down. I had done so well, so why did I stop?
I have been working out for 5 days a week (sometimes 6 days a week) for about 7 weeks now, with my new Focus T25 DVDs, and have been using the schedule diligently for the last 5 weeks. I have noticed that i am much more in shape, and much stronger than I was 7 weeks ago. After the first 3 weeks of using T25, I lost over an inch around my waist, thighs and arms, and I was so proud.
But over the last 3-4 weeks, I haven't been the most obedient when it comes to eating. I have been pre-making my healthy lunches, but then when I get home, my boyfriend will order pizza and I will eat it. Or I will buy cheetos after work and eat the whole bag. I made an announcement on this past Thursday that I was DONE with the junkfood, that I was getting back into the healthy groove, and I was going to be excited about it. Today I went to Harvey's. It was a Harvey's attached to a Swiss Chalet and I could have gotten chicken, but no, I went to Harvey's and got a burger and a poutine with bacon. And then I went to my nephew's birthday party and ate oreo cake. I feel gross. I feel like a person who works out so that she can eat junk food, and I don't want to be that person. I want to be a person who works out because she wants to be healthy. I want to be fit, and I want to feel good about myself. Junk food tastes so good, but it makes me feel so crappy. Physically, but lately, also emotionally. It disappoints me, it makes me feel like I have failed. I want eating healthy to be fun again. I want to be excited to make my meals, I want to feel good about myself. I don't want to have to wear an undershirt to tuck into my jeans so they don't dig into my belly. (I know I have a very small layer of fat on my belly, and most people would yell at me for even saying these things) but I used to have less. I have more muscle under this fat than I used to, but I have gained some of this fat back, and I am beginning to feel uncomfortable in my own skin. I know what it felt like to be able to lounge in jeans and still be comfortable past midnight, and right now all I want to is to change into my over sized pajama pants.
It eating unhealthy makes me feel this crappy, then why do I do it? Can this realization make me more motivated to cut out the bad food? I want to be able to wear my jeans until it's time to go to bed. I don't want love handles. I don't want tummy aches and crappy moods. I want to be fueled and energized because I have been eating the proper foods. I don't want to feel blah everyday because I have fueled my body with crap. I want to be in a good mood. I want to feel good about myself, inside and out, and I want to enjoy it. 

T25 and Working Out at Home

   At the end of high school I enjoyed running. I went three times a week with my good friend Lisa, and we both got really good at it. Being able to run 5km without stopping to take a break just felt awesome. I had never felt so good about myself. 
    Winter then came, and the next summer I didn't run as often, and then of course came college, and working out just happened to be, well, work. So I didn't really do it unless it consisted of dancing mats in front of the TV. (DDR, in case you were wondering.)
    It wasn't until a few years later, when I went to my first Zumba class, that I realized working out can be fun. I really had no idea what to expect, and I was really just going for moral support for my friend Jen who didn't want to go alone.
    Turns out it was AMAZING. Not only was Zumba itself fun, but the instructor ROCKED. She was so energetic, positive, and had such amazing, contagious energy that spread into the audience, making everyone have a much better time than any other Zumba class put together. I was addicted. I went to Zumba twice a week for almost 2 years, and it was even better than running. It was fun, and it made me sweat. Awesome. 
I began feeling that I wanted to work out more than twice a week, but I didn't want to have to get a gym membership, or run outside in the winter. The only other option that I could think of was just go to more Zumba classes, but um, that's expensive.
    My friend Lyndsay told me about Beachbody, and its amazing workout-at-home programs you can do. I was skeptical at first, but decided to purchase the Turbofire DVD set, as it seemed to be similar to Zumba, so I thought that I would have fun with it. And I did have fun with it. It was great, it was an awesome workout, and some of the classes did in fact have a Zumba feel to them. I was able to work out every day, and it was great. But I didn't stay in the routine as long as I anticipated, and I actually got almost completely out of the workout groove.
    That's when Lyndsay, again, introduced me to T25. A 25 minute workout program with Shaun Freaking T. I wasn't sure if I would like it; I was afraid it was going to be crazy hard like Insanity, but since all of my friends were getting it, I thought being able to share our progress throughout it all would make it easier and a hell of a lot more fun. And let me tell you, I don't even need my friends' support and progress updates to make this easy and fun. Not that it doesn't make it MORE fun, but um, no, Shaun T is all I need to get through this program. I instantly fell in love and I am more addicted to T25 than I was to Zumba when I first stepped into that rec centre. 
   T25 is NOTHING like Zumba. It isn’t dancy, and really, it isn’t “fun”. It’s a hard, intensive workout that requires a lot of dedication and personal drive. But because Shaun T is the one telling me what to do, I think it’s fun. I like his attitude, and the way he stares at me through the TV like he is actually in my basement, making me push it as hard as I can.  I feel like a bad ass when I do these workouts, and I am always proud of myself for completing them and showing them who’s boss. I am a new, better me with these workouts.
    The thing that I like about DVD workout programs, is I can do them whenever I want. Sure, you drop 100 to 150 bucks on a set, but you only pay that once. And then it’s yours forever and you can do it every day if you want, for as long as you want. Plus you have the freedom of being able to workout WHENEVER you want. You can get up early the in the morning and do it before work. If you’re too tired to get up, you can do it after work. If you have to go grocery shopping after work, and you’re starving when you get home and need to make a dinner, that’s ok too, because you can do it before bed! And if you are too sick or tired or busy to do a workout at all, you can just do it the next day! You don’t have to worry about missing a day on a limited membership, because the DVDs are YOURS.
   For some people, this cuts the motivation, and they can’t bring themselves to workout, since it’s at home, and no one is there to see whether they actually worked out or not. When I went to Zumba, I thought that I would never be able to do a workout at home. I always said that if I was tired at home, I would just stop, but because I was in a class, I didn’t want to stop when I got tired and have everyone in the class watch me give up. That was another reason why I went to Zumba. Support and motivation. But now that I have found a workout program that am IN LOVE WITH to no end, I don’t find it hard to motivate myself. It’s easy to pop that disc in the DVD player and hit play, and work out with Shaun T. And if there comes a day that I can’t work out, I do two workouts the next day to make up for it. Because, sure, it’s not a class that people can notice me missing from, but it’s MY class. It’s MY workout that I care about, and I know that I have missed a day. So I make it up to prove to MYSELF and no one else that I can do this. That I am dedicated. That I can be a better person. A better person with a tight stomach. :p

Pickle Out